Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
