a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
