I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
