I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
