you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
