I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
