Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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