Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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