We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
