I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
