Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
