Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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