Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
