Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
