Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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