the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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