We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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