is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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