Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
