what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I understand Curling. That high.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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