can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
