I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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