that's an acceptable place to lick
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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