oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
