awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
