Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
