yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
