I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
