I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
