I cockslap morals
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize