The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize