He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
