It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
