Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.

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(518): View more from New York

I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

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(219): View more from Indiana

So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.

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(210): View more from Texas

Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute

(1-210): View more from Texas

Hello cirrhosis

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

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(845): View more from New York

I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.

(845): View more from New York

I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.

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