he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize