obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
