I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i drank out of a bidet.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize