I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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