Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
