She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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