Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
