is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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