She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
