official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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