hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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