Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
