I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
