i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
