we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
