It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
