Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Randomize
