What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
