Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize