From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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