I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
