Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
