Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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