The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
