I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
