I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
