I just made out with a guy for $7.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she told me i tasted like america
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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