ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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