Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
